05 October 2008


I had a really bad dream last night. A nightmare. Not a blood and gore one, more just a menacing one, but it involved somebody from my past that I loathe.

When I got up I went to the kitchen for a drink and found myself shoving crisps into my mouth. I got to 3 handfuls before I was aware what I was doing and stopped. I was trying to 'shove' down the pain of course. It was a choice of shove the food in and nothing changes or deliberately put it down and live with the icky feelings the dream brought up. I decided to live with the icky feelings. Consequently, its just over 12 hours later and I've still not shaken those feelings completely. By tomorrow morning I should be fine though.

There are things in my past which are obviously still triggers and will need to be dealt with. I just hate talking to strangers about them. Gonna have to find some other way to deal with it all.

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