I had a really bad dream last night.  A nightmare.  Not a blood and gore one, more just a menacing one, but it involved somebody from my past that I loathe. 
When I got up I went to the kitchen for a drink and found myself shoving crisps into my mouth.  I got to 3 handfuls before I was aware what I was doing and stopped.  I was trying to 'shove' down the pain of course.  It was a choice of shove the food in and nothing changes or deliberately put it down and live with the icky feelings the dream brought up.  I decided to live with the icky feelings.  Consequently, its just over 12 hours later and I've still not shaken those feelings completely.  By tomorrow morning I should be fine though.
There are things in my past which are obviously still triggers and will need to be dealt with.  I just hate talking to strangers about them.  Gonna have to find some other way to deal with it all.
05 October 2008
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